Friday, November 19, 2010

Notes, quotes and oats: Your only source for farce!

So I'm about to embark on a career in media and my wise mother told me I've to develop a liking for writing! Now being billed for the media, I thought she was right, so I gave her a Rajdeep Sardesaish smile, sat smartly on a chair, opened my mouth in spectacular fashion (like I'm all set for a huge speech) and said :

But jokes apart, I am going to be your friendly neighbourhood Indian journalist. I will make a huge noise about politicos and their antics so much so that audience will be left to wonder if the show is an Ekta Kapoor production! I will swear on national television that I can play better cricket than our cricketers and flash my potbelly! I will proclaim Steve Jobs as God everytime he adds an 'i' to common household articles but ridicule him everytime his gadget costs more than my salary! My orders are to bring in enough TRPs so we surge ahead of the Swayamwar series (And if I can't acheive that, I am to appear on Swayamwar!)

Thus, to gain some match practice I bring you today's news!

> Sonia Gandhi belly dances to Waka Waka, says Shakira is her long lost sister!

> Manmohan Singh was unavailable for comment because he was too busy staring :-O

> In other news, Sehwag has sprouted some hair on his head! We suspect Dhoni's haircut had something to do with it!

> Every FIFA World Cup has a theme, looking at the number of on field blunders this year we feel they're paying a tribute to the Indian Judiciary!

> Gaining FRP (Facebook Rating Points) is not as easy as Sid Mallya inheriting his father's empire! So tag everyone you know and help me get a job!

Before I sign off, here's a message from our ambassador Akshay Kumar:

Heh heh heh! He twinkles :P

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